If you can only love me when I finally become the imagined perfect version of me that you created in your mind,

then you clearly do not love ME.

I am not who you are campaigning for me to be

I was

I am and 

I always will be me

With all my flaws, fears, coping mechanisms

With all my gifts and wisdom and talents

With all my awkward attempts at speaking my love languages to you

If you decide to stop withholding your love, even if I never change into the character you fantasize me to be,

you will find that I am here

I have always been here

In all my bold and ridiculous glory

With all my genius idiocy

Still holding on to all the acres of room I have carved out for you in my heart where I revel in the beauty of watching you run free and wild in your life as I cheer from the sidelines

One day, when I am long gone from this world, you may sit quietly with the small box you have tried to put me into and wonder what we could have had if you had given me the same courtesy to let me run free in my life too

Still here

Still me

Love me or don’t.

The gate to the paddock has always been open